By:Amerie Morrison
We all aim to achieve happily ever after in our relationships, right? The feeling you get when it’s official between you and them is like none other. The start of most courtships is all “lovey-dovey”, healthy, and in a sense, “normal”. The icing on the cake is the love you feel or have for each other. But after the honeymoon stage comes a bump in the road and the fighting begins. The aftermath of fighting is something worth retaining, but regardless, at some point, one of you will feel neglected, get insecure, authoritative, or jealous. How do you know when you are in a toxic relationship and that it’s time to move on?
In the perspective of Braddock sophomore Jane Smith*, it is one thing to hear about a toxic relationship but to experience one is totally different. As growing teens, it is important to know when and how to diagnose toxicity. Most of us only consider our dating lives “toxic” when physical or verbal abuse occurs, but to be safe we must be early detectors. In this person’s predicament, it was only 3 months’ time for her to notice her boyfriend’s impetuous behavior. She said she knew something was wrong when, “I cried myself to sleep every night and felt hurt, sad and depressed.” Eventually, Jane* discovered her boyfriend’s unfaithfulness. She forgave him for the indiscretion at the time but at the 6thmonths mark, it was time to separate.
Jane’s story is one we hear of often. The question remains, are we so blinded by love that we forget the pain we endured from that person? Are we blinded by “2nd” chances….?
Braddock student, Marlee Mathews* decided to maintain her sanity and remove herself from her pernicious bond. The turning point here happened to be around the 6th month of entanglement. She felt isolated, she wasn’t allowed to engage in other activities without being harassed. She said, “He checked my phone about 20 times a day. Nobody besides your parents should dictate who you are allowed to hang out with or where you should go.” Every day was an internal debate on whether she should leave or stay.
So when has the line been crossed? Where do ends meet? And most importantly, when is enough, enough? There is no definite answer to these questions, but here is a guide for couples in this quandary.
Tips for a Healthy Relationship
Be honest: Lying is something you don’t want to be guilty of; one lie leads to another which leads to another and eventually a lack of trust.
Be 100% committed: “cough” “cough” HELLO! You are no longer a part of your own world. Somebody else has intervened, its two peas in a pod and both peas require attention, care, compassion, consistency, sympathy, and affection.
Talk to your partner: whether it’s a confession, a silly statement, a joke; get social with him/her. Communication is key.
Support your partner: Under any circumstances, see the best in your significant other. All interviewees agreed that having this building quality is key.
Develop Trust: it takes time, and it probably won’t be easy but in the end, it is the most important component in a healthy relationship.
Take your time: There is no reason to feel rushed in a relationship, you are still young and have time. Don’t forget that a relationship has to be two-sided and there needs to be a mutual agreement on how fast or slow the pace will be.
The Watchdog 